Sunday Worship: Instagram

I've always been overly obsessed with the Iphone but when they went ahead and pulled this Instagram business out of nowhere, I knew my loyalty could never falter.  My friend Jenny told me I HAD to download it and since she is always full of truth, I followed her orders.  I'm especially grateful for it today because it has a way of making my life look much cooler than it actually is.  Currently, it is 3pm on a Sunday.  I am covered in Spray Tan and am wearing a full grey sweatsuit and a red pair of socks I got for free during a flight on Virgin Atlantic.   You ain't gonna find that magic on Instagram.  Or are you...

For those of you with a Nokia phone or who are not familiar with Instagram's capabilities, here's an example of what it can do.  You simply upload a photo of yourself, choose a filter, and VOILA!...

So to Instagram, I write this hymn...

I woke up this morning

Feeling a little bit rough

I've got to keep up my image

but today it's gonna be tough

 

All my followers are waiting

As they scroll through their feed

Photos of babies, vacations,

And quotes of how to succeed

 

But how can I contribute

When I'm doing nothing at all

but watching Dr. Phil reruns

Waiting for someone to call?

 

Thats when a lightbulb flashed on

I knew just what I should do

My mom said anything is possible

When you have X Pro II

 

I found a great old photo

With nice makeup and hair

But... wait...SH*DFJKHL*ADSLK*JDHI!!!!

It won't fit in the square!

 

So on to option B

It's sure as hell to be a winner

So without further adieu

Here's what I'm having for dinner...

 

AMEN

 

*And if you want to follow me on Instagram and see tons of pictures of how glamorous and exciting my life is, my name is @danikabrysha