Progress Not Perfection

MY FEBRUARY WRITING CHALLENGE: DAY 15 OF 28

I hopped out of the shower in a fret, realizing that tomorrow I will be on national television. Exposed to all. Vulnerable and not knowing how I will be portrayed, how it will reflect on my business, who it will touch and reach and inspire. I had the privilege of going back for a second round competing on The Food Network’s hit show “Chopped”, and it airs tomorrow night.

I’ve been doing this writing challenge for 15 days now. The challenge was that I share my writing here every single day for a month. As you may know, these monthly challenges have proven incredibly helpful for me in terms of creating new habits. My first one was doing a Whole30 challenge which ultimately changed the way I live and eat forever. Then it was a month of mediation. A month working out every day. A month of journaling. A year of sobriety. A year not watching television. And most recently, a month with no social media. These challenges work for me and so here I am, proudly keeping up with this one, which has been much harder than I thought it would be.

But with this comes the insecurity that there will be new eyes on my inner thoughts. I’ve been doing this writing but not really sharing it. Feeling “ok” with the idea that if someone just happens to stumble upon it, no big deal. But who knows how many eyes will come here from their television sets tomorrow, and I’ll admit that it brings up insecurity. “Should I delete that post where I said I was going to sell out Madison Square Garden?”. “Is my writing horrible? My grammar?"

Fear. Fear. Fear. 

If I learned anything in Overeaters Anonymous and through my own healing process with emotional eating, it’s that we should strive for progress, not perfection. That’s what this  writing challenge has been teaching me and if nothing else, that’s been enough. And so instead of going back to make sure I didn’t say something I’ll regret, I’ll surrender my worries knowing that everything I’ve written here has come from some authentically inspired place within me that felt true in the moment.

I am not afraid to admit I am in process. I used to think I had to wait until I was an expert to share. I’m so glad I dropped that attitude and I hope that you do too because I have a feeling there are millions of people that need to hear exactly what your message is at exactly the level you currently understand it. Any other time would be too early or too late. Share your genius with the world. You are here for a very specific reason and there truly is no one who can do the work that is unique to your purpose. 

If you’ve found me from Chopped. Thank you. Thank you for taking me right now, exactly as I am. I hope that I can do the same for you. We. Are. Enough. 

Finishing What We Start

MY FEBRUARY WRITING CHALLENGE: DAY 6 OF 28

Is the writing I’m putting out during this month-long writing challenge my best possible work. No. Absolutely not. Some feels thought-out, some feels like it’s here to check a box that it got done. But I realized this morning that that’s the point. Because I felt frustration for so long about not sharing my work but I wasn’t sharing my writing because I was waiting for it to be perfect. To finalize, the last draft. And as a result it never got done. I never finished what I started and I have an Evernote full of beautiful yet unfinished pieces, that though deeply inspired in the moment, were never wrapped up and therefore never used of service to anyone but myself. 

This challenge I’ve given myself to share my writing once daily in February has forced me to put my writing out there, even when it isn’t my best. Things that I would have never thought of “publishing” before but that I’ve had to be ok with sharing. And it just dawned on me how synonymous this was with nearly every fearful situation in life. We hit a road block because we have self-doubt and so we keep our message to ourselves. We hold our unique geniuses in because we’re afraid to be judged or we know we can do better. But it’s selfish really, because you’re left feeling like your song is trapped inside of you, and that song is what you’re here to share with everyone else. It’s your gift to them. And so when you don’t share it, perfect or otherwise, your gift is being muted. The person that so desperately needed to see that quote, or hear that song, or read that poetry, or relate with you on the challenges of motherhood, or learn that tool that would have kept them from binge eating 3000 calories alone in the darkness, is left without it.

And for me, I know this... I would normally write this draft like I’m doing here in Evernote now, and then I'd leave it. Leave it for another time when it would get “finished”. Often it would be late at night that I’d come back to it, expecting to be able to go right back to that creative space inside me where the inspiration to write this came from in the first place. But that never happens because it was meant to be finished in that moment. And so as a challenge to myself I will commit to finish what I’ve started with these pieces. To write them in the moment that they are inspired from within me and to share them shortly after. To trust that what is meant to be said, is said from that place of light inside me that felt called to share in that moment. I know the difference between my writing when I’m being and when I’m doing. It’s the very difference between being inspired to do something out of your own will versus being forced to do something out of your own internal pressures or something outside yourself. And with that here it is. No summary. No over-editing. Just sharing.