Graduation Attire

My friend Lindsay Diamond, who is not a pornstar, graduated from FIDM (Fashion school) this past weekend.  A group of friends and I decided we'd go to the ceremony and support her but we knew we needed some pretty sweet swag if we were going to do this right.  My friend asked if we should make a poster.  That was funny.  I immediately knew that everyone needed a neon T-shirt and that I would handle the rest.

I have a new obsession with photoshop.  I have spent countless hours lately watching tutorials on youtube, trying them out myself, epically failing, and starting over.  And though I have yet to learn how to give myself a six pack, fuller hair, or a peg-leg, I am becoming rather successful at cropping myself and my closest friends into way cooler situations than Cabo Cantina on a Wednesday night.

And this was the result...

Now, Lindsay and her mother have two of the most severe ADHD cases I've seen in a living human, or for that matter a goldfish.  As a result, these are the best group photos we managed...

**Lindsay's mom asked that I use my photoshop skills to glam her up a bit as well and since "moms know best" I knew I had to obey

I'm available for all your political campaigns, Quinceañeras, and Speed Dating events.  See the above booking tab for more information.

Congrats to all the recent graduates of 2012.  Now go get a job.

Please Stop Asking This Question

(Originally published: November 4, 2010)

I hate when people ask me what kind of music I like.   If they ask me that initially, I know it’s not going to work out between us.   It is a sure fire way that you will be judged and placed accordingly.  It is similar but not directly related to someone asking your Astrological sign.  If you are someone that is going to judge our compatibility based on me being the “twin” and you are the “scorpion” (Is a scorpion a sign or is that Chinese New Year?) we clearly have different interests in life.

It’s not that I don’t like music.  Music is nice.  It is just that the question of asking what kind of music I like is so critical.  It’s up there with asking me which Hanson brother was hottest.  Can’t I just be honest and say my Pandora is still set to J-Kwon’s Tipsy and call it a day?

I don’t even know what this question means.  There are so many variations and ways to answer it.  What song do I most commonly enjoy karaokeing to?  What kind of music did I lose my virginity to?  What kind of music do I pretend to like to impress whatever person I am trying to impress?

This question is usually asked by someone who listens to some hip, underground, alternative group that no one listens to and frankly isn’t even good.  At work, I have made the conscious decision to never be the one whose laptop plays our 16-hour a day soundtrack in the office.  It’s a lot of pressure and god only know that with my luck my iTunes will get stuck on something like Dashboard Confessional.

I think people should listen to whatever music tickles them in that special way…

On that note I’d like to include a playlist that I like to live my life by and that you should probably listen to:

1. Bed Intruder Song- Antoine Dodsen  Bed Intruder Song
2. Cameltoe- FannyPack
3. Teardrops on My Guitar- T. Swift… because no matter how old you are you have sat and listened to this song and imagined the person in your life who caused all those teardrops that stained your new guitar… kidding… kind of
4. Teach Me How to Dougie- Cali Swag District
5. Milkshake- Kelis
6. That’s Not My Name- The Ting Tings… only because I used to pretend I was a Victoria’s Secret model in front of my mirror repeatedly to this song
7. Graduation (Friends Forever)- Vitamin C
8. Play- David Banner… The lyrics just always tug at my heartstrings
9. My Dick- Mickey Avalon…. This goes out to my friend Val…
10. The Theme Song to Full House
11. Blue (Da Ba Dee)- Eiffel 65
12. Summer Girls- LFO… I remember thinking this song was so cool cause it had the words “Abercrombie and Fitch” in it… I know you did too
13. Mambo #5- Lou Bega… I rewrote this song with lyrics about my cheerleading team in 6^th grade and performed it for everyone at practice.  So that’s comfortable.
14. Stay- Lisa Loeb
15. Who Let the Dogs Out- Baja Fresh Men
16. Empty Apartment- Yellowcard… I used to listen to this in high school when I wanted to pretend I was emo and had a lot of serious life issues to deal with.
17. Who’s That Girl- Eve… I liked to play this in my headphones while on family trips and pictured myself owning the Newport Beach sidewalks with paw print tattoos on my chest
18. Purple Pills-Eminem… Same scenario.  Family Road Trip.  Had no idea what it was about.
19. The Day I Fall in Love-  This is the song from Beethoven’s 2^nd when Ryce gets a ride from Taylor Devereaux in his convertible after school and she is so speechless she has to run up to her bedroom and collapse onto her bed with only Beethoven to console  her.
20. Trapped in the Closet- R. Kelly…

But seriously, what kind of music do you like??